Path to Self-Recovery/Discovery through Self Education on the Web

Recovery

Sometimes you just feel alone. Maybe your therapist, best friend, spouse, mom or dad, or confidant are simply unreachable. Perhaps you feel you've leaned on their shoulders too much lately, they have problems of their own. Or you're just in that bad moment with nothing nearby to console you at all. If you feel at the moment that you have nothing to immediately fall back on, but you have access to the internet, luckily you're totally wrong. 

There are many self-help websites and articles out there that can give someone a boost by visiting, maybe even helping them out of a state of immediate crisis. From depression, emotional sickness, suicidal thoughts, all the way to positivity and spiritual growth- its all out there with a little access to the web (or even a good library if have the time and know how to look). 

Im no expert on mental health, but from personal experience if you can be in your feelings enough to know whats going through your mind/body/spirit then you're in luck because you can narrow a google or bing.com search to the areas where you need support at that moment. Really, try it. Google the 'symptoms of depression', or 'how to get out of a toxic environment' and see if the numerous results don't surprise you or make you feel any better.  What you find may lead you to seek the treatment you need from a medical professional. But also, the beauty of the internet nowadays is the sheer volume of posts and comments out there from real people living through experiences just like yours. You'd be pleasantly surprised, if in a weird way, to know that people are going through the same things in life as you.

Here are a few of my personal tips from experiences of depression and emotional pains and struggles. Take my advice freely as you will if you feel these tips can help you in any way:

AS TOUGH AS IT FEELS PLEASE DO NOT LOSE HOPE.

Take time to care for yourself in a state of crisis, and do what you need to in order to get out of that dark moment.

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FOOD, REST AND CREATE TIME FOR PEACE AND MEDIATION, EVEN IF ITS MINDFULNESS IN ACTION.

I have found that switching to a natural diet can help to minimize mood swings and mental/emotional imbalances.

Knowledge is power. Sometimes just knowing how many others have felt the way you feel now or been through similar experiences can empower you or make you feel that your not alone in the world. For that reason, DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Learn to address the true causes of your pain, don't just bottle it up. Learn to manage and feel how you feel. If you're sometimes depressed you need to be real about that in order to begin to change it.

IT IS OK TO FEEL PAIN AND BE REAL IN ORDER TO GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO HEAL.

Let go of that which you cannot change, and change what you can about your life to make it better and more livable/peaceful/joyful for you. 

EMBRACE THE TRUTH. It is said that Life's not fair, but sometimes things fall apart so that God can put things right in your life. Have patience with yourself and with the Universe.

FIND AN INTEREST, CREATE A GOAL OR REINVEST IN YOUR DREAMS. Sometimes life needs that fresh burst of energy coming from something you love to do, even if its simple like 'start drawing again'.

BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE. When you're ready, try your best to see your personal challenges as a blessing in that you've been given the opportunity to grow from this in the way that you choose.

TODAY IS A NEW DAY. EMBRACE THE OPPORTUNITY AND LIVE THE BEST LIFE OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

These are my simple, non-expert tips, but they do reflect my own experience with getting past huge mental/spiritual/emotional setbacks. GOOD LUCK TO ALL AND TO ANYONE IN THE STRUGGLE!

My Personal favorite Self-Help Websites and Forums:

http://www.psychcentral.com
http://www.ezinearticles.com
http://www.ehow.com
http://www.askville.com
http://www.belief.net
http://www.pinterest.com
http://www.tinybuddha.com
http://www.marcandangel.com
http://www.kajama.com
http://www.themindunleashed.org
http://www.altering-perspectives.com
http://www.kajama.com
http://www.freewillastrology.com
http://www.lifehacker.com
http://www.awakeningwomen.com
http://www.facebook.com/queenafuawellnessinstitute
http://www.learnmindpower.com

HOW TO SPOT ELDER ABUSE AND MISTREATMENT

FOLLOWING OUR ATTENDANCE AT THE ELDER ABUSE CONFERENCE ON JUNE 5 2013, MY COLLEAGUE AND I CONDUCTED A SERIES OF PRESENTATIONS ON THE TOPIC OF ELDER ABUSE TO ELDERS, AND TO PROFESSIONALS WHO WORK WITH ELDERS.

HERE'S OUR SLIDESHOW PRESENTATION ON ELDER ABUSE AND MISTREATMENT.

How To Spot Elder Abuse and Mistreatment from Keke Bev

WE HOPE THAT IT WILL INCREASE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE OF THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE.

What I learned at NYC Elder Abuse Conference 6.5.13

The NYC Elder Abuse Conference, started in 2006, just completed its 8th annual event yesterday on 6.5.13. The title of the conference was

“Elder Abuse; Expanding the Conversation. Best Practices for Preventing and Resolving Elder Abuse.”

So much information was shared during the conference and I will give you a little insight here.

The opening speakers began the event by addressing Elder’s general fears for acknowledging abuses. These fears include:

- fear of hurting loved ones

- fear of abandonment or moving to a nursing home

- the shame of sharing abuses with someone else

They noted that the Elder Abuse Training Institute teaches that a strong combination of social services AND legal assistance for elders would be the best combination to prevent and resolve elder abuses.

The Department for the Aging continued by mentioning they are keeping a database of elder abuses in NYC, and the Commissioner at HRA suggested that managed care connect with social services from now on for the care of the elderly. This concept would make middlemen like agencies, patient advocates and case managers essential to connecting social services with managed care, for the care of the elderly, and to prevent and resolve elder abuses.

Keynote Speech: Capacity Assessment- Jason Karlawish, MD

The Keynote speaker was wonderful. Jason Karlawish, MD, is a geriatrician who specializes in Alzheimer’s Care. He provided the participants of the conference with an essential tool that cannot be understated. This tool is a system for conducting Capacity Assessment with Patients or Clients.

Capacity Assessment tool is a system of measuring and determining a patient’s ability to make decisions regarding their IADLs (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living). What this means is, Is the patient able to make decisions for themselves, reason and come to the best decision, or do they require decisions regarding their IADLs to be made for them.

A breakdown of Capacity Assessment of “Decision Making Ability” is as follows:

- patient understands what is being asked of them, what decision has to be made

- patient appreciates the importance of the decision to themselves

- patient has the ability to express a choice

- patient has the ability to reason, compare and understand consequences of their decision

Capacity Assessment is an important tool because it helps determine if a patient is capable of basically deciding how to live their life, and make choices in their life. It is important to understand this so that a provider will know how to respect the patient’s autonomy, and how much help they would need to make decisions. It helps determine how significant are the patient’s cognitive impairments and level of capacity, which makes communicating with the patient much more effective.

The Capacity Assessment Evaluation consists of the following important points:

- What is the decision that needs to be made or problem that has to be solved regarding the patients IADLs

- Evidence that the patient has an impairment to their decision making (ex. Alzheimers- what stage of Alzheimers, is an important assessment)

- Assess Capacity/ Decision Making Ability

- Again readdress what factors are contributing to the patients problem making a decision ( sometimes its values, and in the case of potential elder abuses, fears, etc)

The Capacity Assessment Evaluation can also be applied to the patient’s primary caregiver, and used to determine how much the caregiver is in line with the patient’s wishes and life. The primary caregiver in this instance would be referred to as the Knowledgable Informant, referring to their role in assisting the client with IADLs and Decision making. A key question to ask of both patient and Knowledgable Informant would be ‘Describe a typical day for (patient)’, and to compare the answers to see if they are together.

Workshop #2

Clergy Gatekeepers Role

This workshop was great. The panelists were:

Alyson Morse Katzman, Associate Director of Safe havens Interfaith Partnership Against Domestic Violence

Jonathan Soto, Steering Committee Chair for Brox Clergy Roundtable

Rabbi Shimon Hirschhorn, Director of Religious Affairs at Hebrew Home at Riverdale

Art Mason, Moderator, Director, Lifespan of Greater Rochester Elder Abuse Prevention Program

The number one point addressed in this workshop was the important role the faith community/clergy can have in preventing and resolving elder abuse. This is because

- many or most elders attend and are very proud of their faith association

- elders can find trust in their clergy members if it is made an option to them

- there would be less suspicion from abusers (family or other) regarding the role of clergy members in assisting elders in getting out of an abusive situation

Therefore it would be important to train leaders in the faith community to understand Elder Abuse, know that it exists, recognize risk factors and red flags, and to know what resources they have to refer elders in abuse situations, or how to counsel someone out of an abuse situation.

I plan to collaborate with my contacts from this workshop to develop a training module for clergy members in NYC and deliver workshops to the clergy members. We will also create a training module for the youth and formerly incarcerated youth to help them recognize and to prevent current and future elder abuse.

Workshop # 10

Disproportionality in Aging Services: Who is Underserved

Panelists:

Catherine Thurston, Senior Director of Programs, SAGE

Diana Cruz, Care Manager, Visions Services for the Blind

Roxanne Simms, Social Case Worker, Visions Services for the Blind

Geoffrey Rogers, Moderator, Brookdale Center for Healthy Aging and Longevity, Hunter College

This workshop was informative. The panelists discussed underserved populations of elders who need resources, including LGBT seniors and seniors with handicap such as Blind or visually impaired. They discussed particular ways in which elders in these populations can be abused, and reasons the abuses can go unaddressed.

LGBT seniors

- lots of financial abuse from ‘sweetheart scammers’

- threats of violence and outing them to their families

- isolation from the outside world

- few agencies have specialized training to address caring for an LGBT senior

Blind or Visually Impaired

- probably been a victim at some point because of their disability

- lots of financial abuse from family members or trusted caregivers

- people dont listen to them, offer assistance when they are not compelled to

- isolation from the outside world

- lack of specialized resources for Blind or Visually impaired

I also asked about whether LGBT seniors would require LGBT aides, and the panelist answered no, not necessarily LGBT aides, but aides interested in and trained to work with LGBT seniors.

I plan to coordinate a special training for more aides to work with LGBT seniors. Most of this training will be conducted for aides at JNJ Home Healthcare Inc.

I will also invite our blind and visually impaired clients to be aware of and to attend support groups specifically for the blind and visually impaired at VISIONS, and have access to adaptive devices offered by VISIONS.

Special Thanks to all the presenters and participants I was able to meet at NYC ELDER ABUSE CONFERENCE! I look forward to engaging in Elder Abuse Prevention and collaborating with other professionals in NYC and Nationally.

Supporting America's Family Caregivers

Caregivers are people of any age that take responsibility for the care of loved ones when they are elderly, chronically ill, physically or mentally disabled, facing addiction or otherwise impaired.

Since caregiving is primarily based on a person’s willingness to care for loved ones, people in our community often shoulder responsibility in silence, seeking little support for themselves. Family caregivers represent a large and sometimes unspoken for segment of the American Population. Today, approximately 46 million Americans are providing care for an adult relative or friend (Source 1). There are over 16 million family caregivers taking care of disabled children (Source. 2) , and 2.7 million grandparents caring for children under the age of 18 (Source 3). There are even as many as 1.4 million young adult caregivers providing primary care for their grandparents or other elder relatives (Source 4).

Currently, there are many individuals and groups petitioning for government recognition and support for family caregivers, and with good reason. The economic value of care provided by family caregivers is estimated at over $300 billion a year, which is more than 2x the nationwide spending on nursing homes and paid home care services combined. (Source 1). Unpaid family caregivers tend to suffer loss of wages and perceive their own health status to be lower than if they weren’t responsible for the care of a loved one, which often combines both physical and emotional strain on the caregiver. This can be exacerbated when the family caregiver has not chosen to be the primary caregiver, but are taking up an undesired responsibility, in reality, which is true in the case of some adult and young adult caregivers. The stress of the responsibility can force a caregiver to unwillingly limit their careers, education, decline promotions or neglect their own wellness in other ways.

As a family wellness advocate and patient advocate I agree that more should be done to assist family caregivers at a federal and statewide level with the physical and emotional task of caregiving. More attention should be given to this important role publicly so that family caregivers will not suffer in silence, and can improve their own health, mental and financial wellness.

Understanding options,and sharing helpful information within the community is one way local organizations can assist families in decision-making, as well as with finding the health and wellness support to make life flow smoothly for those in need of care and caregivers alike.

Currently there are some online communities specifically for caregivers, social supports and patient advocacy resources to help caregivers through everyday life and tough times as well.

Caregivers should review the many websites listed on this blog for more information and support for their role as family caregiver.

Sources:

1. http://www.strengthforcaring.com/util/press/facts/facts-at-a-glance.html http://www.caregiving.org/data/Report_Caregivers_of_Children_11-12-09.pdf
2. http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb12-ff17.html
3. http://caregiveraction.org/statistics/
4. http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/20/the-reluctant-caregiver/

I am a Volunteer Patient Advocate available in NYC

Image source: www.ifs.tuwien.ac.at

In my opinion,

A patient advocate assists a patient through diagnosis and treatment of disease, as well as everyday wellness and preventative options.
- navigates the healthcare system
- communicates with medical professionals
- getting a medical second opinion  
- filling out forms for care and insurance


A patient advocate understands the medical system, billing, medicaid and medicare, managed care options and local wellness resources.


A patient advocate has good communication, gives and commands respect, and is politely assertive in navigating the healthcare system.


A patient advocate is people oriented and has plenty of PATIENCE!


Being a patient advocate for me combines sympathy and empathy for those going through the healthcare system with creative problem solving skills.


Guiding a person or family through a health crisis or achieving an overall state of well-being reflects a personal mission, life experience and familiarity with some of the pitfalls and challenges in the U.S. healthcare system.


Patient advocates have a strong desire to help patients and families achieve the best possible results no matter what.

As a volunteer patient advocate I stay up to date on healthcare news and information, community resources and changes to NY city and state care systems.

The skills I will also be developing:

Language and Effective Patient-Doctor communication
Patient Case studies
Wellness leadership
medical billing + insurance; Medicaid + Medicare; 
Managed Care Options
Elder sensitivity, disability, chronic illness, mental impairment sensitivity
caregiver support (for family members and aides)

My volunteer services are currently available through

NAB Design Volunteer Concierge Services - caribnaildesign.wordpress.com
JNJ Home Healthcare Inc. - www.jnjhomehealthcareinc.com
IMCEE- Intergenerational Multicultural Coalition - www.facebook.com/imceenyc
TIMEBANKS NYC - www.timebanksnyc.org

email nikkibcommunity@gmail.com

KEKES MISSION STATEMENT 2013

'Stand in your purpose." KRS-ONE speaking at Temple University

I have always loved helping people and have been considered very sensitive since I was a small child. Throughout my life I have been blessed with MANY CHALLENGES, and yet have always known that there are others that still have it worse than me. The feeling always has gone beyond awareness, to empathy. I have always felt other people's problems to be very close to my own, and so participated in community service throughout my life and kept my own friends close like family. 

"You know that tenderness comes from pain. Its amazing how you love. Love is kind, love can give and get no gain. " Sade

I AM AN OPEN BOOK. You can ask me anything. In fact I have always been offering my unique truth in honesty to anyone that wants to hear it. I have always been wearing my heart on my sleeve, and put myself out there vulnerable as an artist and spoken word artist. The truth of my life is that my own personal challenges have beaten me like a meat tenderizer on my mind and spirit for years, till I was READY, ABLE TO COME OUT STRONGER AND BETTER.  Without disclosing all at once what I've been through personally, This new year, I feel very grounded in my spirituality and lifestyle, which has developed over the years of soul searching, career changing and having a child. I love to bask in the wisdom of my elders and the laughter of my child and I am blessed to offer what life has given to me through my struggles: TRUTH, JUSTICE AND LOVE, all in a very personal way. 

I believe in working together to achieve unified collective and agreed upon goals.

I believe that PEACE and LOVE are not just words but carry a spiritual essence, and that everyday beauty can be shared if we choose.

And I believe in starting small and dreaming big. My dream in life has always been true peace and happiness, and to choose that for myself means to “be the change I wish to see in the world” (Ghandi) because “if you wanna reach the nation.. start from your corner” (Andre 3000).

SO as an individual, in my work, and working in conjunction with my budding non-profit and other individuals and organizations, I dedicate my life to the spirit of LOVE, giving my WILLINGNESS to commune with and help others through the skills I have and the tangible resources that I’ve gotten over time.

ASK ME ANYTHING, AND LETS COLLABORATE TO BUILD BETTER COMMUNITIES FOR OUR CHILDREN AND FOR MOTHER EARTH TO CONTINUE WITH LOVE.

ELDERCARE: Have a Happy, Wholesome, and Inclusive Holiday Season!

Have a Happy, Wholesome, and Inclusive Holiday Season!

For caregivers and families newly caring for their elderly members, the holidays can be as much a stressful and trying time as it is a joyful one. The beauty and colors of the season stir the mind to family values and togetherness, which often reminds us of lost loved ones and, after Hurricane Sandy, many lost treasures.

Lets make an effort this year to enrich our families and communities with the gifts of kindness, inclusivity, and Love.
I have looked into ways families can adapt and support the needs of their elderly loved ones, and gained some insights I’d like to share...

COPING WITH LOSS

With a death in the family, the holiday season can magnify that feeling of loss or isolation. This is an opportunity for family members to connect. Sit down with family and decide what each family member would like to do this season. Acknowledge the loss of the loved one, honor them together or visit a memorial site.

“Engage in spiritual activities that are comfortable for you. All wounds take time to heal, realize you will feel sad at times. Don’t be afraid to cry or smile. Enjoy the gifts of the season found in special memories.1”

COMFORT IN CHANGING ROLES

The passage of time and process of aging can leave our elders feeling awkward at holiday time. Elders who were once the lively and capable hosts of family events turn into the guests at family events. Other elders can be left alone during the holidays, due to deaths or family breakups. Taking the time to include our elderly family members and even family friends can be extremely rewarding for all members of the family. Here are a few tips to keep in mind for the best response at holiday parties.

1.  Clean appropriately for all ages and clear pathways of small objects, making the home accessible to your elders.

2. Cook special dishes low in sugar and salt especially for your elders.

3. Prepare the home with special comforts like photos of elders from over the years and place them around the space.

4. Be ready to greet everyone cheerfully and welcome them whatever their role in your family.

5. Document your good time with holiday crafts shared between children and elders and treasure the memory of the bonds you have created and strengthened!

* Note * The holidays can be a wake up call that a family member needs additional support. Be aware of the signs of dementia and Alzheimer’s by visiting the Alzheimers Association  @ www.alz.org

COOKING TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS

To avoid weight gain, or worsening the stresses of the season with excessive eating and drinking, moderation is recommended for family members of all ages. A great place to start would be healthy food preparation alternatives for favorites, especially in the case of cultural foods that will be expected. For instance, Soul Food lovers can emphasize baking instead of frying chicken, emphasizing roasted veggies on the plate instead of meat, candied yams and plenty of fruit instead of heavy pies. In Jewish cooking, cooking spray is recommended when preparing latkes, instead of oil, to make the light potato pancakes. Try to include foods like cranberry which is an acid and a disease fighter, and squash which is high in Vitamin A and Beta Carotene. Check out these suggestions from lowsaltfoods.com for special dishes and preparation ideas this holiday season!

The Best Viniagrette
Rib-Eye Steak with Brandied Mushrooms
Light Apple Tart

http://www.lowsaltfoods.com/food_center/recipes/dir_recipes.htm

Sources
www.voices.yahoo.com/celebrating-holidays-elderly-friends-family-702691.html
www.meredy.com/nursetips/holidayhealthtips.html
www.chowhound.chow.com/topics/850749
www.alz.org
www.womensday.com/sex-relationships/family/caregiver-elderly-parents
http://www.lowsaltfoods.com/